Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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