i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
