If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
