weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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