Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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