I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Randomize
