I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
