I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There r osticjed everywhere
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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