Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How does it feel to date your dad?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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