According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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