We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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