are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
