You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
