I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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