Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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