oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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