you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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