a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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