So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
