I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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