God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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