I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
