If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
