he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
