i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
