just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
