He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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