no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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