i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
