how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
