Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
