We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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