I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude. I can hear the air.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
