last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
home. puking in laundry basket.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
