I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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