meet me or not, i'm out of control
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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