what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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