I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
