So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His nipple licking is glorious
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