how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
