please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
