4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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