There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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