I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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