It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
