I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
