he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
