We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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