2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
