Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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